Friday, 3 December 2010

Why England were never going to win the world cup bid.

Okay, i'm not usually one to Comment on the immediate news, but I felt I had to throw my hat into the circle regarding the reasons England failed to clinch the rights to host the 2018 FIFA world cup. before anyone thinks I'm just bitter, the following is only my opinion, and I can honestly say I didn't want England to host the World cup. I think hosting the worlds biggest football tournament four years after the Olympics would have been downright asinine, especially given the UK's current economic situation.

To be honest, the crux of the issue is right there. Its the FIFA world cup. A friend of mine at work pointed out to me the other day that every other country in the world names it's Football association after the country.

Englands is simply "The FA."

It's fairly indisputable that England is the home of the modern game of football, yet despite having pretty much the strongest bid on the table, we were passed over in favour of Russia, a country that is still recovering from years of abuse at the hands of the social regime.

Now, I'm not going to accuse Russia of bribery or anything so crass. even if they did, it's irrelevant, because England were never going to win that bid. Because FIFA does not like England.

When FIFA look at England, they see two things:- they see the hooligan nation of the seventies and they see the single most successful football league in the world.

In the first case, they aren't willng to accept that we aren't truly a hooligan nation anymore. for the last few major events, England fans have been repeatedly praised for their well-behaved nature. Sure, it can't have helped that we had trouble over the Midlands derby THE NIGH BEFORE THE VOTE, but even so, that sort of event is now far more common in the European leagues. And yet, everyone still acts like English fans are just a bunch of thuggish troublemakers looking to ruin every tournament we go to.

If you ask any person around the room who the biggest football/soccer club in the world is, they will inevitably mention the name "Manchester United." What FIFA wants, to be honest, is for you to say "Real Madrid" or "Juventus." They want those big medditerranean countries to be seen as the heartland of football, not some little island up in the middle of nowhere.

The premier league attracts the most money in the world. and FIFA don't. lets face it, historically, England has never been a popular country amongst the international community. At the end of the day, we used to run roughshod over most of these guys for whatever we wanted, and that still doesn't sit well.

It doesn't help, of course that we constantly act as if we are the most important nation in the world to football. The constant air of superiority was such that a lot of people assumed we had the bid won before we'd even started.

FIFA don't like us. Plain and simple.

Now, I know a lot of people want to blame the Panorama sting for the way the voting went. FIFA are certianly trying to infer that. But imagine that rather than the Mondya before the vote, Panorama was coming out this monday. How would that look?

I'll tell you how it would look. It would look like England was throwing one monumental hissy fit after losing the vote. The only way the BBC could come out of that with any Journalistic integrity was to broadcast it before the vote. The timing could have been much much better, but in my heart of hearts, I don't beleive it changed the outcome.

Becuase to put a World cup on in England would have shown FIFA up. after years of trying, unsuccessfully, to marginalise the English game's importance, it would have acknowledged that England is simply one of the best places to hold the event. That would have put too much power and prestige into the FA's hands, power and prestige that the FA would have used to railroad FIFA any chance they got. The fact is, the English game does not need to power boost that the World Cup gives, and to get it would have made an already powerful league virtually unparalleled in terms of sway.

And that was never going to happen.

Monday, 29 November 2010

NaNoWriMo - The Endgame.

Well, I started this month with the intention of writing a 50000 word Novel. It was calle the Longest day, and it was the tale of four racing drivers battling their way in their respective classes towards the win.

How did I do? Well...

Yup, 50,022 words later, I finally crossed the border and was declared an official winner of my first NaNoWriMo. Have I finished my novel? No. I've still got six chapters to go. I've then got to edit, pad, and pimp it out to make it into something worth at least self-publishing.

Watch this space, Mofos. right now, though, I'm gonna pass out. Davif, Jaime, John and Tom can wait until the morning at least.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Just to say...

Trying to make a pitstop sound exciting in a fictional story is very difficult. Turst me on this.


18,722 words down. 31,278 to go. I'll get a decent entry up soon. I don't just like to write random shit.

this entry nonewithstanding.

Friday, 29 October 2010

The Fellowship of the Ring (Are Dicks.)

I have a secret shame that its taken me a long time t admit: Up until today, I did not own my own copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I just never got around to buying it. Thankfully, I rectified that today by getting the Special Edition Box Set on the cheap. Of course, that means I get to watch these epics all over again.

As I sat through Fellowship, I came to a conclusion:

The Fellowship of the Ring Are a bunch of utter Cocks.

To Explain:

Gimli: Racist against Elves. Also loud enough to get Caught by elves in the woods of Lothlorien. Also, goes out of his way to flirt with Galadriel. In front of her Husband. DICK.

Legolas: Racist against dwarves. Also an absolute dick because during the council he goes out of his way to be a shit to Boromir by essentially going "Oh, by the way, the ranger there? The guy with the long brown hair who you spoke to in the sword room earlier? He's your king, and you should just blindly do whatever he says even though you only met him an hour ago and he's essentially gonna take all the power your family have away from you. Oh and I'm gonna tell you all about despite him clearly stating he doesn't want to be the fucking king. yeah. Fuck you." DICK

Boromir: Do I really need to explain this one? Seriously? Sure he was getting influenced by the ring and the need to live up to his father, but seriously, Boromir spends most of his time whining like a little girl with a skinned knee and trying to eye-fuck the ring whenever it appears. Also, the whole "Trying to Mug Frodo for the Ring" thing. DICK.

Merry and Pippin: Sure, Boromir is a dick, but at the end, he sacrifices himself so that Merry and Pippin can get away, and bravely falls in their defence while they run... wait, you mean they don't run? They stand there lobbing rocks at the Goddamn Uruk-Hai, then get caught, thus negating Boromir's sacrifice and making him die for nothing? DICKS.

Frodo: Lets see, Mr Baggins. What did Gandalf specifically tell you not to do? Was it put on the ring? What do you do the instant you first get a fucking chance? Is it put on the ring? Of course it is. Also, how many times did Gandalf advise against going into the Mines of Moria? And which route do you instantly pick given half a chance? Also, after being told by Aragorn to run for it you then stand on the shore of the river cradling the fucking ring for twenty minutes while they're all getting their arses kicked so you can get away - at the end of the movie, you've only made it across the river when they catch up. Also, you nearly let Sam drown, you douche. DICK.

Aragorn: You nearly made it, heir of Isildur. you nearly survived this movie without being a dick. Then, the instant Boromir died, you tossed his body over a waterfall. but you didn't just do that, did you? No, you stole his stuff first. don't think we didn't notice those pretty new bracers you've got their, Mr Strider. DICK.

Gandalf: Oh, where to fucking start? This is an extensive list:

1) "Keep the ring in your undefended house Frodo, while I go and search out whether or not it's the one ring, in full knowledge that Sauron is searching for it."

2) "Despite having the ability to summon Giant Eagles, We still have to walk all the Goddamn way to Mordor" (Better know as the 'how it should have ended' dilemma.)

3) Here's how the conversation should have gone, Gandalf:

"We should go through the mines of Moria!"

"No, there's a Balrog in there."

"What's a Balrog?"

"A Giant Demon Made of Shadow and Flame."

"Pass of Rohan it is! Thanks Gandalf!"

How the conversation went:

"We Need to get off this mountain! We should go through the Mines of Moria!"

"We'll let the Ring Bearer Decide!"


You may have noticed Sam is not on here. Thats because he isn't a dick. At Any point. Someone made it at least.

Friday, 15 October 2010

Yes, I'm going to try and write this...

so, Its NaNoWriMo next month... And this is what I'm doing:

The Longest Day:

The Season has been long, the accidents have been brutal, the cars have worked long and hard, and the drivers even harder.
Now its come down to this – the final, most prestigious race of the international endurance championship: The Baker 24 hours. Mentally taxing, physically draining, the high-speed Baker Autodrome has claimed both careers and lives over the years with 5 miles of undulating turns and brutally fast straights.
Seeking to tame this beast of a track, four drivers challenge each of the different classes. Each has their rivals both in and out of their teams. Each will face the challenge of the Autodrome. Each will have to use all their racing ability to make it through their longest day.

Main Characters:

David Miller: GBR

Age: 38

Class: Prototype

Team: Miller-Davis Autosport (I)

Co-Drivers: Mark Davis (GBR), Richard Davis (GBR)

Car: DTR-001 prototype.


This is David Miller's tenth, and final, Baker-24. He has been a racing driver for nearly 20 years, and has dabbled with all forms of racing, from NASCAR to Formula one. The very definition of a gentleman racer, the one thing that has eluded Miller is the International Endurance crown – and the win in its illustrious 24 hour finale. He has entered the Baker-24 as the overall points leader, by a narrow 8 point margin over Yves Amrhein, the talented lead driver of the Bugatti Works team.

In his privateer team, Miller is running the exceptional diesel DTR-001 prototype. A thoroughbred racer, the DTR has already guaranteed David the independents crown, and its unique aerodynamic package has put Miller on the verge of his first Baker-24 win. But the car, after a season's worth of running, is fragile, and Miller – having already decided this will be his last year of racing – is obsessed with getting the overall win. With no spare chassis and with everything to play for, David and his two co drivers, Richard Davis and his brother Mark will have to give everything for the overall win.


Jaime Willis: USA

Age: 23

Class: GT1

Team: Aston Martin Racing USA (W)

Car: Aston Martin DBR9

Co-Drivers: Marcus Brauer (GER), Sebastian Fournier (FRA)


Despite a firm racing pedigree and a lot of experience in Lower formulae, Jaime's entrance to the Baker-24 has been treated coolly by the racing community. Looked upon as a PR stunt in the IES, her presence in the race is looked upon as little more than a pretty face to put on the billboards and flyers. Jaime is determined to prove herself as a firm contender in the GT1 class, but with the cameras zoning in on her and her celebrity lifestyle gaining her a reputation as a party girl, Jaime has to gain the trust of her team before she can hope to push her unfamiliar Aston Martin DBR9 to the head of the GT1 class. She has not competed in the rest of the IES season, and is purely in for the Baker-24 crown.

A TV presenter for a sports station in the states, Jaime's presence in motorsport is looked upon with a mixture of contempt and amusement, but her ability is not to be underestimated, with several National GT wins already under her belt. Despite this, very few in the Autodrome's paddock think she is deserving of a Works seat with the Aston USA team.


John Cox (GBR)

Age: 30

Class: GT2

Team: BMM Racing (I)

Car: Lotus Exige 240

Co-Drivers: Tomas Acklin (SWI), Daisuke Yakamoto (JAP)


Cox has pushed himself to the very edge this season, and it shows. Despite his stirling efforts, his team currently languishes 15th in the standings. With no chance of taking the class title this seasons, British-Malaysian Motorsports teeters on the edge of bankruptcy, with only one hope of salvation – the sponsorship and prize money that comes with winning the Baker-24.

Cox has been a Driving force behind developing the Lotus Exige as a GT2 class racer, but in its first season, the car has been off the pace until the last few races. In the penultimate event at the Circuit De Catalunya, Cox was able to take the class win through the car finally coming alive. His greatest hope is that the ability to save the soft-compound tyres the Exige showed at Catalunya will carry over to Baker.


Tom Morris (GBR)

Age: 25

Class: Touring

Team: Green Flag Motorsport UK (I)

Car: Ford Focus ST

Co-Drivers: Daniel Montgomery (GBR), Jason Kane (ROI)


Tom Morris has risen through the ranks of Touring Car Races for several years, taking his first British Touring Cars Title last year before making the jump to a Touring Class seat in the IES. His unique Hybrid Powered Focus ST tore into the ranks, but technical issues with it's KERS system have prevented it from dominating the class as much as its pre-season form indicated.

Morris has struggled to meet the demands of the endurance style in his first seasons, and has been forced to learn how to manage his tyres long term mid race, as opposed to the three quick sprints of a touring car race day. However, Green Flag has brought in two experienced drivers to back up his Baker-24 challenge. But the 24 hour race can make or break a drivers career and the rumour is that if Morris doesn't have a strong showing he could be finding himself back in the lower leagues come next season.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

THis car is the Sex.

Lewis and Jenson test the new McLaren road car:

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Best. Finish. Ever.

I'm on a wee bit of an indycar kick at the moment:

Friday, 12 February 2010

Indycar Just went Unique...

I like Indycar. As open-wheel race series go, its a remarkably un-pretentious league. a mix of street races and ovals, with its one big feature event, the Indy 500. I even like the design of Indycars, although, I've got to admit that they look like rejected designs for F1 cars.

That is, Until now.

You see, the IRL has been holding a competition between three design teams - Dallara, Swift, and DeltaWing Racing.

Up first in this Petrol-powered Triplethreat: Dallara

Now, Dallara have entered three designs, two of them look very Traditional Indycar:

However, their most intriguing one is this one - a much more futuristic design with what looks like a heavy wing at the back:

The front wing also looks very solid and chunky on this design, presumably to deal with paint-trading fun. The rear wheels also look to be mostly enclosed just in front of the rear wing, making the car less likely to go airborne in a wheel-to-wheel clash. a good design, and I've got a feeling this is one of the ones the IRL will look at the most.

Next up, we have Swift's design...

...Which is apparently funded by Wayne Enterprises. Its a good looker, but I'm not sure how much of it would translate to an actual car, especially that front wing. I just don't see how much aero-grip thats going to offer this car. In this design, the rear wheel is also more open, giving more risk of the cars going skywards, and as discussed in a previous entry, racecars are not meant to fly.

Finally, though, we have the most interesting, and certainly the most controversial design being pitched - and ironically, its also the one that is closest to being a working goddamn car: the DeltaWing.

That car looks epic. It's designed to be hugely low on drag, and has completely enclosed wheels to prevent any flying issues. Its also, apparently, the one most of the drivers on the grid like best.

Personally, I hink theres one, blinding obvious way to decided between the three - Race the fuckers! Three designs fighting it out for the right to be made the reigning indycar!

Do it, IRL. You know you want to.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

The Elephant in the Room...

One of the things that has always truly, truly irritated me is the immediate response of the the media to blame violence on video games.

Let me paint a picture for you: I am 24. I have been playing violent games since the age of ten. I have shot Nazis, zombies, girls boys, and occasionally, the odd shark. Sometimes I run them over in a car.

I have never once thought it would be okay for me to go and shoot someone in real life, and violence on the news has always made me feel bad.

Yet tonight, my wife is watching an episode of “Jo Frost's Extreme Parental Guidance” that says that playing a violent video game for 20 goddamn minutes desensitises kids to violent footage from the news.

Their evidence for this? That the kids heart-rates stayed the same, rather than rising in response to it. I call bullshit.

What they have proven there is that kids don't react in a physical manner. Because they have been Prepared for the worst.

However, research has shown that kids who play video games have improved reactions and observational skills. Bet that wont be mentioned, hmm?

Of course, the amount and content of games played by kids is... of course... DOWN TO THE FUCKING PARENTS.

Jesus Christ. Take some fucking responsibility.

This rant brought to you by Videogamers for parents paying attention to their goddamn kids.

Of course, there would be an advantage to stopping playing videogames. It would stop them ruining my left 4 dead 2 sessions.

Friday, 22 January 2010

The Tank KO'd my update...

Yeah, its been a last time since my last blog entry. Left 4 Dead 2 has been eating my time.

...And will continue to do so. See ya!


Friday, 1 January 2010

Why i hate the Internet.

I just watched that last ever David Tennant Episode of Doctor Who. It was awesome.

I then made the mistake of looking at the BBC Have your Say boards. much less awesome.

Some samples. All names have been removed to disguise the idiocy:

The script writers need to be told that their stories will be rejected if Deux ex Machina is used to solve plots.

And please - no more running around screaming for supposed suspense or drawn out scenes attempting to give it gravitas. It is all so light-weight and badly written.

A true reflection of British society; dumbed down, celebrity driven and all gloss no substance.

Because Doctor Who is meant to relfect the current nature of the British people. Next series - the Doctor gets into trouble after claiming expenses in the gallifreyan parliament for a doghouse for K-9!

i really can't believe the writers of doctor who completely cut out the one and only sexy david tenant like who does that? i mean really people what the hell are you thinking man? love you David....gone but never will always have a special place in my heart even though you won't be on my tv screen anymore

Y'know, David Tennant hasn't actually fucking DIED. but according to you, he should play the Doctor, and only the doctor. For ever and ever amen.

Dr Who is supposed to be contentious,challenging, frightening, boundary breaking, but above all else SCARY and FUN.
Instead we got yet another bog standard appaulingly produced BBC Sci Fi drama like Survivors, Day Of The Triffids etc that was multi cultural, politically correct, inclusive, diverse and basically not up to the job. David Tennant is a truly great actor who was ruined with really poor script writing.

It was East Enders on a bad day.

This one REALLY pissed me off. Because according to this guy, Doctor Who should only feature White people. Talking to White people.

Doctor Who - Bought to you by the BNP.

In the old days, Dr Who changed appearance with a few lights and out of focus shoyts.... now we have explosions and fires and breaking glass.... why? Don't the people who make these programmes understand that we've already seen it. Again. And agian. And again...

It's called Drama:

Drama - Noun - any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results: the drama of a murder trial.


And thats quite enough stupidity for one day.


And a happy new year to all.