Tuesday, 30 June 2009

My Top ten fight scenes of all time... thus far.

well, after whining like a little emo bitch for the better part of the day, I thought I'd try writing something constructive.

of course, I cant really be arsed, so what you're getting is a list of my top ten movie fight scenes instead.

Now, The ground rules:

1) I have to have suffered through the entire movie at some point, not just the fight in question.

2) you may notice that the Rocky fights are not included. in this case, i decided it has to be combat fights rather than sporting fights. and the one from Rocky five sucks donkey balls.

3) These must be fist fights. Minimal Weaponry (or in the case of some, weaponry in the main context of the fights) onyl allowed.



NUMBER 10: Cloud vs Kadaj, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children.

It may surprise you that I prefer this fight to the one immediately following it, The Cloud vs Sephiroth fight that makes up the film's proverbial "Main event." Theres one very simple reason for that: the Cloud vs Kadaj fight is the fight the film has been building towards for the entire run. Kadaj has been the main antagonist, tormenting Cloud at every turn. While Sephiroth is a legend, the Sephy-CLoud fight feels more like fanservice than an actual fight with any build to it. On top of that, The Kadaj fight feels much more realistic than the Sephiroth fight. More sword fighting, and less DBZ style flying through the air.

NUMBER 9: Asuka vs the MP Evas, End of Evangelion.


An odd choice, but one that gets me every time. In the buildup to this fight, I genuinely shed tears as Asuka cowers in her Evangelion-02 at the bottom of the Lake, chanting "I dont want to die" over and over. In the background, her mothers voice starts to speak, telling her she isnt alone, and when she realizes, it all breaks loose, leading to Eva-02 taking out 10 or so Mass production Evas. It's a controlled piece of Brutality on the part of the Evangelion animators, and amazingly effective as Eva-02's battery finally dies and the MP-Evas take their gory revenge.


NUMBER 8: Iron Man vs Iron Monger. Iron Man.


Another one of my favourite fight scenes, and one that for the the type of film it is, is far more realistic than it should be. The Movie battle between Iron man and Iron Monger most certainly has its roots in the comics, but in terms of the capabilities that have been set in the films for both suits, this is a good, uneven fight that Iron Man wins by grit and Determination alone.

NUMBER 7: Neo vs Agent Smith, The Matrix

Possibly a controversial choice at this stage, this fight was revolutionary in its time, with the use of wirework and bullet time making this a never before spectacle of Kung-Fu action. add to that the clear amount of actual fight time both Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving get, and you get a brilliant cinematic fight that has, unfortunately, been diluted by time and imitation.

NUMBER 6: Obi-Wan vs Darth Vader, Revenge of the Sith.

In terms of Jedi Battles, up until this point the Star Wars Prequels has been noticeably lacking. Sure, we had Yoda vs Dooku in Attack of the clones, but that came across more as a comedy fight than an epic moment. But this, the batle we had all been waiting for, Vader and Kenobi in their primes, was an end to end lightsaber duel across the molten lava surface of the planet, Mustapha. Even the ending meets with Approval from me, as Kenobi remains a teacher telling Anakin not to violate a basic combat principle and attack the high ground.

NUMBER 5: The Bride vs O-Ren Ishii, Kill bill Part one.

Before this scene came about in cinema, very few people outside the select clique of fans had seen a true samurai style duel on the big screen. The two former deadly vipers have a dramatic duel in the snow outside the house of blue leaves. the scene is also a crutial one of redemption for Thurman's Bride, as her skill is mocked by O-Ren for her perceived lack of skill, and apologises as she realises she has been outclassed. I remember sitting with a couple of guys who didnt get shy she did this until it was pointed out to them, and both suddenly grinned and nodded their heads in agreement, despite having previously thought it was a bit stupid. The fight itself is, very simp,ly, a triumph of substance over style.

NUMBER 4: Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds vs The Operative, Serenity.

Okay, I'll be the first to admit, this one is pure Browncoat-Bias on my part. I love Firefly, I love Serenity, and I have honest-to-god Man love for Malcolm Reynolds. that said, none of this takes away from the fact that this is a singularly brutal, dramatic fight on the edge of a precipice in the depths of Mr Universe's planet, as Mal tries to transmit the message that shows the alliance to be guilty of creating the deadly Reavers. Mal eventually wins the fight via an incapacitating move and stroke of luck - The cluster of Nerves the operative attacks to paralyse his victims had been torn out during the unification wars.

NUMBER 3: Daniel vs Chozen, The Karate Kid Part two.


Now, I bet you're looking at this one in a spot of disbelief, arent you? But in terms of Drama towards a climactic fight, the first two Karate Kid films were masterclasses in Building up a battle. The mo-holds-barred Karate fight between the Delinquent, Villainous Chozen and Daniel is the perfect synchronisation of light and dark with back and forth action giving the battle an excellent atmosphere. unlike the restrained atmosphere of the All-Valley championship fight in the first movie, this is the first fight where you genuinely feel Daniel is threatened by an opponent, as Chozen genuinely tries to kill him through the battle. All in all, the return to the Tournament style in the third movie felt like a severe letdown after this brutal challenge.

NUMBER 2: Jake vs Ryan, Never Back Down.


I know, you guys have got to be scared that Never Back Down is making it this high onto, well, any list ever. But if there is one thing that this movie does, its fighting, and the final battle betweem Jake Tyler and Ryan McCarthy is no Exception. More importantly, in a cinematic world where films are increasingly relying on wirework and CGI to create a fight, this is a brilliant piece of MMA choreography that breaks the mould of what films are currently doing. While Never Back Down itself hasn't necessarily beena great hit, the minimal use of CGI and the various fight styles shown - the fight moves from stand up, to ground based submission and Strikes to Wrestling and back to stand up again - make this a compelling and brutal battle, and probably the first time ever a mid-fight epiphany has come whilst the hero is locked in a guillotine choke.

Fun fact: Cam Gigandet has won the Fight of the Year award two years running: firstly for this fight, and secondly for the piece-of-shit fight at the End of the abomination before Literature and Filmmaking that is Twilight.


These are the ones that didn't make it into the main list due to various reasons:

Spike Spiegel vs Vincent Volaju - Cowboy Bebop the movie: A classic MArtial arts battle, in animated form!

Sean Thornton vs Will Danaher - The Quiet Man: John Wayne and Victor Mclagen make this fight a supreme work of Comedy and Action.

Aragorn vs Lurtz - The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring: One of the best none-samurai sword films committed to film, spoiled only by the short length.

Balian vs Guy - Kingdom of Heaven: an excellent sword fight, omitted from this list because for some unknown reason, the fight onyl appears on the fucking special edition. good call on this one, Hollywood Studio Heads. Really.




Riggs vs Mr Joshua: Lethal Weapon.


If Never Back Down Broke the mould for modern Cinematic fights, Lethal Weapon took a Sledgehammer to the Clay they made the Mould out of. Riggs vs Joshua was a cinema MMA fight before Hollywood even knew what the fuck MMA Was, combining stand up grappling and clinch boxing with brutal ground and pound, an attempted drowning and finally a choke-out victory via traingle choke for Riggs. Bearing in mind that the first UFC event, which really brought Mixed Martial Arts to the fore, wasn't even a twinkle in Helio Gracie's eye at this point - it occured six years later - the use of Jiu-Jitsu to finish a cinema fight was practically unheard of, and the brutal beating both men suffer under the spray of a busted fire hydrant is why I've chosen this as my number-one cinema fight.

But dont believe me? watch for yourself.


Dont agree with my choices? Have your own favourite fights list? comment and let me know! For now, I remain,


An Update.

it looks like my HTC is completely fucked. Its not even turning on now. but on the upside, I have £20 birthday money in my pocket from work and half a cake in the fridge!

I am having an Utter Shitter of a day.

and its not even 9am yet!

So, last night, my beloved HTC touch decided it didnt like being violated by its phone charger anymore, and refused to charge to it. Now, I thought I had an extra Tenner in my account, so I found a place on Ebay that does desktop chargers for the batteries for £2.95.

Unfortunately, as it turns out, that tenner I had was an uncleared payment to something else, so Bye-Bye charger, until at least friday.

which means I'm stuck using our Backup mobile.

Which is a pink clamshell Alcatel.

Yeah, this is going well.

oh, and I was off sick yesterday. the chinese I had for my Birthday dinner gave me food poisoning.

and we just got a £91 bill for the sky.

And my wife's away until thursday.

I'll post something constructive when life doesn't suck.

Friday, 26 June 2009

A bit of a ramble.

I hate to be a buzzkill...

But surely, there is some other news in the goddamn world than Michael Jackson dying? I respect the guy for the media Icon that he is, but I honestly beleive that if Iran dropped a nuke right now it would only appear in the tick bar at the bottom of the screen.

anyways, I'm not going to do a rant about Michael Jackson, because frankly, its uncalled for.


I've been working on my novel for about a year now, and to be honest, its been a real struggle at times. Writing a novel is a long, difficult process for me, especially a fantasy novel. to be honest, I bounce between bouts of loving writing so much I cant wait to get home and do the next page and weeks of staring at the screen, unable to think of anything to write.

My target is 300 pages - slightly longer than the first novel of my Idol, David Eddings. I'm just about up to thirty.

but as I said, its a slow process for me.


If, like me, you're a bit of a classic game fan, the site goodoldgames.com is absolutely fantastic. I picked up Freespace 2 for about £3. today, as a birthday presnt, I picked up Comanche Vs Havok and The Guild Gold Edition for less than a tenner.

seriously, check this shit out.



New online Game Addiction!


Online Race Team management for the win!

also, if you play the Half Life 2 Mod Insurgency:

come give me a bullet or two to the head on the 24/7 ins_sinjar server. its all good.


Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuun....

My Mum got me a singularly awesome present for my birthday this year:

Is that a martian fighting machine, or are you just pleased to see me?

yeah, I got to go see The War of the Worlds at the Echo Arena, and it was fucking IMMENSE!