Kids these Days.

Okay, I'm a gamer, and I've been known, on occasion to talk about motorsport on this blog. So naturally, being both a gamer and a Motorsport fan, I was pretty happy to see news of F1 2011 appearing in the gaming media, more specifically, this Developer Diary:

I want the steering wheel Ant Davidson uses in that video SO much.

Now, I first came across that video on a gaming site. As you tend to with Video Game news. What I then did was make the mistake of looking at the comments. Most of it, to be fair, was the usual mix of vitriolic hatred and enthusiastic responses. The one that caught my eye, though was a comment related to the footage from about the 1:45 minute mark of the video, at the VIP developer event.

As you may notice if you look at that video, a lot of the people trying the game out are rather young, which prompted some enlightened soul in the comments to ask:

"That's stupid, what the F**k do kids know about car handling?"

I have, of course, corrected the spelling and grammar.

Now, at first glance, the commenter has a point. What does a young person know about the intricacies of car handling and physics? What could a young teenager know about Racing a car? What could a child know about competitive motorsport and how a car handles under pressure?

What could this 15 year old girl:

(Picture Courtesy: BBC)

know about car handling and physics? And what does this nine year old child:

(Picture courtesy: Youtube)

...Know about how a racing car handles? Look at the pair of them? What could they possibly know about racing car Handling that some gamer commenting on a website doesn't? Everyone knows kids don't know anything!

Tell me, gentle reader, how good are you at spotting incredibly loaded questions?

That first picture? The fifteen year old? Her name is Sarah Moore. In 2009, on Live British Television, she won the Ginetta Juniors championship, one of the best Junior GT racing categories in the country. She was the first female champion in it's then five-year history. She won five races and had ten podium finishes in the 20 race season. Now aged 17 and racing in the Intersteps series, Her ambition is to compete in the Le Mans 24 Hours. She also has her sights set on being the first British Female F1 driver.

Just to illustrate that this series isn't just kids playing around, here's some footage from the 2008 season, as Ginetta Junior footage is disappointingly difficult to find:

Oh, and I bet you're wondering about the young nine year old boy in that photo. Well, that picture was taken in 1989. I cropped it from this footage:

Twenty years later, that nine year old boy did this:

Yeah. Thats Jenson Button. The 2009 F1 world Champion.

So whats the point of this blog entry? The point is that Racing drivers don't just drop into the seat at the age of 25 and start winning races. The point is that Motorsport, like everything else in life, is a craft that needs to be learned.

The point is that some Gamer posting a comment on a website doesn't know more than that 15 year old girl and eight year old boy. They have probably forgotten more about car handling and physics than you will ever know. Sarah Moore is a veteran champion racing driver at the age of 17. Jenson Button has been racing for over 20 years, and is only 31 years old.

So, "What the f**k do kids know about car handling and physics?"

The answer? In the case of some of them, A hell of a lot more than you.

I Am Not Like Them.

This is probably going to be the single most personal entry you'll ever read on my blog. Bear with me.

So, It's 9:34pm on a Sunday night, I've spent the day watching the British Touring Car Championship and for the last 34 minutes, I've been staring at the TV with my jaw hitting the floor, because frankly I can't believe that such sheer hatred and belligerent disgust can come out of the mouths of such self righteous people.

I am, of course, watching Louis Theroux's follow up to his 2007 documentary "The Most hated family in America."

Now, I'm going to say this straight up: I am a Catholic. I am a Christian, and I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins to save me from hell. And the members of the Westboro Baptist Church make me feel thoroughly ashamed to believe.

I grew up believing that God loves everyone. I grew up believing that every single person on this planet, be they of different race, creed, gender and sexuality is beloved by god.

A couple of years ago I was sat in a car with one of my best friends, who is an Atheist. He asked me if I believed that he was going to hell.

This is the image people have of Christians thanks to people like the Westboro Baptist Church. They have this image that if we find out they're gay, or an Atheist, or a Muslim, that we'll tell them they're going to hell.

I told my friend no. I told him that he will still go to heaven.

Because that little event 2011 years ago? That's what that was all about. The fact that god loves everyone, regardless of race, creed or faith.

But what the Westboro Baptist Church says goes completely against that. Like many other Christian sects of that mold, their policy is that the only way to Heaven is if you do it their way. Unless you adhere to the strict guidance that they declare is the word of god, then you are doomed to burn in hell.

Yes, they believe that the people who picket the funerals of dead soldiers with signs proclaiming that "God Hates Fags" and "Soldiers Burn In Hell."

They try to justify this by saying it's gods love that compels them to do this. To Me though, all this is is hate. God said Love thy neighbour, not judge him and tell him that he will burn in hell. I certainly don't remember God saying that it was cool to tell the Jews that they deserved the holocaust because they crucified Christ, and I certainly don't remember the part of the bible when it said that it was okay to tell a Muslim man his wife died because he told the members of the church to eave him alone.

These people don't preach the word of God. They twist it into something that is simple and easy to understand: Hatred.

And I'm sick of being looked at like I'm one of them.

I am not like them. And I think it's about time that all peoples of all faiths stood up and said "I am not like them. I am not like Osama Bin Laden. I am not like Fred Phelps. I am not an extremist. I am willing to listen to you. I am willing to speak to you like another human being. And I want to be heard."

My name is Ben Myatt. I am a Christian. But I don't hate you if you aren't - because we're all human.

How about you?

My secret life as a renaissance courtesan, or how I came to love Assassins Creed Multiplayer.

I've been playing an awful lot of Assassins creed Multiplayer lately. One could almost say it's my latest obsession. I've developed this nasty habit of walking up to people in the middel of a crowd and suddenly puncturing various parts of their anatomy.

It's an incredibly fun experience.

When It's done right. What I have here is a brief guide to the groups of people on Assassins creed multiplayer who will Absolutely ruin your goddamn day.

The Sprinter.

On the scale of annoyance, the sprinter ranks pretty low. To be fair, what they do is more a sign of abject incompetence than anything else. What's scary is that you see these people running around with level 20-plus status. How, is beyond me, since the sprinter is characterised by running around in bloody circles, on the same route, apparently hoping that no-one will figure out what they're doing. Right up until the point someone stabs them in the Abdomen.

Defining characteristics: Running around like a headless chicken, in the vague hope that no-one else has ever played on the same map, ever.

How to deal with them: Stand in one place, then stab them in the face, while singing the 'chariots of fire' theme tune down the microphone.

The Mountaineer

The Mountaineer was apparently born on the snowy peaks of the Himalayas, hanging from a ledge. The Mountaineer scaled the face of Everest at the age of two, and dived off the top with a hang glider. Now, The Mountaineer has turned to his greatest challenge: Assassins Creed Multiplayer. But his strange upbringing has bred into him one horrifying fear - a complete and abject horror of ever being on street level. As a consequence of this debilitating phobia, he'll spend the entirety of every round up on the rooftops, surveying his supposed kingdom, daring you to climb into His Territory.

Defining characteristics: Constant use of the free running function, despite this leaving him completely exposed at all times. Occasionally in extreme cases, spending the entire round perched on top of a jump point pretending to be Batman.

How to deal with them: Stand at street level, select the hidden gun, target them, and shoot. Then listen to the rants over the Xbox voice channel.

The CODder.

Anyone whose ever been on XBox Live Know's the CODder. They barely need mentioning. They're the guys who think all games should work exactly like the Call Of Duty Franchise. If you beat them, you're cheating. IF they beat you, they're the greatest gamer who ever lived. One of these guys swore at me for a solid minute for "Stealing his Kill." Despite the fact that he was half a map away. And it wasn't his target.

Defining characteristics: The Incessant ability to NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP. Constant uses of variants of the word's "Fag", "Homo", "Queer," and anything else they can use to try and make themselves look tough in the overwhelming evidence of their own repressed homosexuality.

How to deal with them: Shit, if I knew how to get rid of these bell-ends, I'd have told the world by now. For the moment, I'll settle for using the mute button. On a note one of these guys declared that people who use the female characters are "Kinda Homo."

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So, there's a small sample of the wonderful people awaiting you in Assassins creed. Of course, like any multiplayer game, there are a ton of awesome people as well. You'll meet plenty of folks who play the game properly, and actually score a metric ton of points doing so. Honestly, I've never had so much fun being Poisoned, stabbed, shot, slammed, and thrown from rooftops onto my head. I'll see you in Wanted. But you won't see me until I stab you in the neck.

Why i hate the Internet.

I just watched that last ever David Tennant Episode of Doctor Who. It was awesome.

I then made the mistake of looking at the BBC Have your Say boards. much less awesome.

Some samples. All names have been removed to disguise the idiocy:

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The script writers need to be told that their stories will be rejected if Deux ex Machina is used to solve plots.

And please - no more running around screaming for supposed suspense or drawn out scenes attempting to give it gravitas. It is all so light-weight and badly written.

A true reflection of British society; dumbed down, celebrity driven and all gloss no substance.
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Because Doctor Who is meant to relfect the current nature of the British people. Next series - the Doctor gets into trouble after claiming expenses in the gallifreyan parliament for a doghouse for K-9!

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i really can't believe the writers of doctor who completely cut out the one and only sexy david tenant like who does that? i mean really people what the hell are you thinking man? love you David....gone but never forgotten.....you will always have a special place in my heart even though you won't be on my tv screen anymore
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Y'know, David Tennant hasn't actually fucking DIED. but according to you, he should play the Doctor, and only the doctor. For ever and ever amen.

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Dr Who is supposed to be contentious,challenging, frightening, boundary breaking, but above all else SCARY and FUN.
Instead we got yet another bog standard appaulingly produced BBC Sci Fi drama like Survivors, Day Of The Triffids etc that was multi cultural, politically correct, inclusive, diverse and basically not up to the job. David Tennant is a truly great actor who was ruined with really poor script writing.

It was East Enders on a bad day.
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This one REALLY pissed me off. Because according to this guy, Doctor Who should only feature White people. Talking to White people.

Doctor Who - Bought to you by the BNP.

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In the old days, Dr Who changed appearance with a few lights and out of focus shoyts.... now we have explosions and fires and breaking glass.... why? Don't the people who make these programmes understand that we've already seen it. Again. And agian. And again...
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It's called Drama:

Drama - Noun - any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results: the drama of a murder trial.

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And thats quite enough stupidity for one day.