Defending Marriage? Like hell you are.

So, I'm checking facebook on work today, and suddenly I see that one of my colleagues has answered a poll question. Nothing unusual in that, I hear you say, people answer poll questions on facebook approximately 17 million times per second.

The reason this one caught my eye was because it was on a page labelled "Protect Marriage: One Man, One Woman."

The question asked "which side are you on?"

The answers were

"Marriage = One man, One Woman"

or

"I support marriage equality."

So I sat there, looking at that question, and started to think to myself 'exactly what do I think of this issue?' To be honest, its not one I've paid an overly large amount of attention to. As I'm sure you can see from previous entries, fitting anything in amongst motorsport, writing and videogames is a bit of trial for me, so sitting there, trying to think of my point of view took a little while.

Now, I am a Christian - bear with me - but I try not to make too big an issue of it. I don't adhere to all church doctrine, and I sure as hell don't agree with every word the big papa in Rome hands down. But the whole principal behind a lot people citing that they're "Defending the Sanctity of Marriage" is that somehow gay marriage erodes the preciousness of the marriage between a man and a woman.

With all due respect, horseshit. I'm pretty sure Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian have done a hell of a lot more to erode the sanctity of marriage than any loving gay couple.

On the other hand, the recent debate laws that would force churches who disagree with gay marriage to allow same-sex weddings in their churches also smacks of a certain amount of political manoeuvring and has led to a lot of christians feeling like their hand is being forced.

So I sit there, as the rather limited minutes of my lunchbreak tick by, contemplating those two little options, and then I remembered something my wife mentioned in passing; The actual wedding between two people is conducted by the registrar, not the priest. It's when your name is entered in that record book that you're officially entered into the ranks of married. Sure, the church ceremony beforehand is nice and all, but the important bit is that ten or so minutes where the registrar takes your details.

And then I got onto thinking about Marriage itself. I've always held to the core belief that at the end of the day, the wedding itself isn't that important. Before my wife wallops me one, let me say that I loved our wedding, and it was the happiest day of my life thus far, but the important bit has come in the three years since, where we've been through trials, tragedies and many, many tribulations. And that's marriage.

SO I decided, yes, I am a defender of Marriage. But I'm not a defender of Religious Nutbars who want to maintain their exclusivity of the term, and I'm not a defender of the other side trying to score political points over the Religious Nutbars by trying to force them to do something they fundamentally disagree with.

I am, however, quite happy to defend marriage. Be that straight marriage, gay marriage, civil marriage, religious marriage or any other kind. Because you know what, a proper marriage doesn't start at the altar and end at the reception. Marriage is about two people - be that a man and a man, a woman and a woman or a man and a woman - who love each other enough to say "I want nothing more than to share the rest of my life with this person. I want to wake up in the morning and see there face, and I want to go to sleep at night seeing the exact same thing."

Marriage is about those people in love. It isn't about what God says - although I'm sure that if anyone actually bothered to ask God rather than deciding on his behalf, he'd be pretty cool with it - and it isn't about demanding others adhere to your view for the sake of it.

So I clicked the second option. I clicked "I support marriage equality." Because I do. People can do what they want for their wedding at the end of the day. Their wedding is not their marriage. But everyone, be they gay, straight or somewhere in between deserves the right to Marriage.

I Am Not Like Them.

This is probably going to be the single most personal entry you'll ever read on my blog. Bear with me.

So, It's 9:34pm on a Sunday night, I've spent the day watching the British Touring Car Championship and for the last 34 minutes, I've been staring at the TV with my jaw hitting the floor, because frankly I can't believe that such sheer hatred and belligerent disgust can come out of the mouths of such self righteous people.

I am, of course, watching Louis Theroux's follow up to his 2007 documentary "The Most hated family in America."

Now, I'm going to say this straight up: I am a Catholic. I am a Christian, and I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins to save me from hell. And the members of the Westboro Baptist Church make me feel thoroughly ashamed to believe.

I grew up believing that God loves everyone. I grew up believing that every single person on this planet, be they of different race, creed, gender and sexuality is beloved by god.

A couple of years ago I was sat in a car with one of my best friends, who is an Atheist. He asked me if I believed that he was going to hell.

This is the image people have of Christians thanks to people like the Westboro Baptist Church. They have this image that if we find out they're gay, or an Atheist, or a Muslim, that we'll tell them they're going to hell.

I told my friend no. I told him that he will still go to heaven.

Because that little event 2011 years ago? That's what that was all about. The fact that god loves everyone, regardless of race, creed or faith.

But what the Westboro Baptist Church says goes completely against that. Like many other Christian sects of that mold, their policy is that the only way to Heaven is if you do it their way. Unless you adhere to the strict guidance that they declare is the word of god, then you are doomed to burn in hell.

Yes, they believe that the people who picket the funerals of dead soldiers with signs proclaiming that "God Hates Fags" and "Soldiers Burn In Hell."

They try to justify this by saying it's gods love that compels them to do this. To Me though, all this is is hate. God said Love thy neighbour, not judge him and tell him that he will burn in hell. I certainly don't remember God saying that it was cool to tell the Jews that they deserved the holocaust because they crucified Christ, and I certainly don't remember the part of the bible when it said that it was okay to tell a Muslim man his wife died because he told the members of the church to eave him alone.

These people don't preach the word of God. They twist it into something that is simple and easy to understand: Hatred.

And I'm sick of being looked at like I'm one of them.

I am not like them. And I think it's about time that all peoples of all faiths stood up and said "I am not like them. I am not like Osama Bin Laden. I am not like Fred Phelps. I am not an extremist. I am willing to listen to you. I am willing to speak to you like another human being. And I want to be heard."

My name is Ben Myatt. I am a Christian. But I don't hate you if you aren't - because we're all human.

How about you?